some questions and i replied

hii, jadi kemarin adalah hari terakhir gue kerja dan hari ini gue ngerasa lost

kayaknya gue tau deh kenapa orang bilang kalau mau resign dari kerjaan, at least lo harus punya gantinya dulu, biar apa? biar ga bengong kayak gue gini. karena jujur, sekarang yang di otak gue adalah... bisa ga ya gue dapet kerjaan lagi dalam waktu cepat? atau bisa ga ya, gue cuma ngandelin duit suami? dan bisa ga ya gue ga stress dan punya kesibukan lagi?

jadi di sini gue mau coba jawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini biar gue normal. karena kadang pertanyaan ini tuh sebenernya bisa gue jawab, cuma pas lagi down tiba2 ntar ngeblank dan makin down. tbh, gue tuh ga mau depresi dan mau terus aktif (siapa sih yang ga mau?). cuma karena selama ini selalu ngandelin kerja di kantor buat isi waktu, gue jadi takut ngeblank, apalagi mengingat gue punya nyokap yang janda dan saat ini gue masih numpang, siapa yang bakal ngasih beliau uang selama gue belum kerja?

so here the questions and chatgpt helps me to ask some question below here:

yep. finally i did it.

gusy, this post is seriously a mixed bag, like a rolleroaster of emotions. and honestly, it;s probably going to be long. so, a little trigger warning for those in happy mood—u might wanna skip this, cause it's likely to be a bit negative. andddd.... i'll try my best to keep it clean, though.

so, for the past few months, my company's finances have been kinda shaky (i told it in another post). we even had layoffs (read this). and now, out of nowhere, comes a new bombshell: a 50% pay cut and mandatory WFA with no definite end date. like, wow, thanks, what i needed is WFA but 50% pay cut??? and as HR, i still had to confirm a few things since this was such a sudden decision. and yeha, i also had to inform the other full-time employees (all two of 'em, plus the OB). and if this affected the interns, i had to let them know, too.

housewife? and what would I do?

So, I've always dreamed of being that classic career woman with a regular 8 to 5 gig, Monday to Friday. Superrr excited about having office buddies with similar goals, into a bunch of tasks, and of course, getting that sweet monthly paycheck wkwk. It seemed like a blast!

But lately I've been thinking—why not just stay at home and being a housewife? It sounds pretty cool to spend my days doing hobbies, learning to cook, and doing whatever without stressing about time management. Being a housewife might be less complicated—no office drama, no coworkers conflicts, and no boss issues. I could focus on household chores, support my hubby (just a heads-up:I'll be referring to him as "Utuk" here, since that's how I usually call him), and maybe even get back into "ngelukis" like I did back in SMA (which I’ve kinda let slide T_T).

let it go; stoicism philosophy

I just gave the blog a little glow-up to make them easier to read. honestly, the old posts were kinda messy, haha. I wrote them on a whim without editing, so they turned out kinda jumbled. bet some of u were thinking, “what’s this even about?” lol.

I also used to keep this blog kinda on the down-low, like sharing my thoughts here was some big deal or even a no-no, haha. but that’s pretty silly, right? hiding it just makes it seem like something's wrong. but really, I just want to share my feels—joy, sadness, frustration, whatever. those feelings are valid, so why should I be embarrassed?

and honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not talking bout some hidden alter ego (which should probably stay hidden, haha). everything I write here is real and can be backed up. I get why this blog wasn’t shared openly before—I was scared of being judged. I worried people would think, “Ih dia mah baperan,” “Ih dia mah lebay,” or “Ih dia mah drama.” still gotta remind myself that my feelings are valid, and if someone thinks poorly of me, it's no biggie. even Rasulullah get criticized, so why not me?

so, I’m still trying to live more positively and just be myself. trying to not look back and don't care what people say.

try to be more possitive

hey guys!

so, here’s the deal—i’ve been kinda stuck in a negativity spiral lately and not really sharing the good stuff. but let’s be real, this blog’s kinda my space to vent, and venting usually comes with a side of gloom, right?

From HR to HeaRtache

hii guys, so I decided to take a leave today, because I'm sick. I’ve been feeling pretty crappy for the past few days—well, more like a few months—and I need a serious break. I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m feeling this way. could it be this? or could it be thatt? idk. but honestly, it mostly boils down to work. although, when I think about it, my job isn’t even that bad or the worst thing in the world, I guess...

a rollercoaster of thoughts

hiii, after a few months, I finally found some time to write here again.

sebelumnya, gue mau kasih tau dulu kalau curhatan kali ini bakal full english, ini sengaja sekaligus melatih skill english gue (you’ll understand what I mean after u read the second-to-last paragraph, xixi)

what you need to know.

Tulisan ini gue dedikasikan untuk orang-orang yang sering berpikiran yg enggak enggak dengan gue. Bisa jadi lo juga gue tulis di sini

btw, I’ve removed the original post and rewritten it in english to better manage the tone—keeping it respectful but a bit direct, hehe. hope it comes across okay.